The Palisades Fire: Why It Hits Closer to Home Than You Think

Today, Southern California is on fire—literally. Parts of this beautiful, storied region, including affluent areas like Eaton, Pacific Palisades, and Hurst , are engulfed in flames. Decades of memories, homes, and businesses are being reduced to ash, leaving many feeling displaced and devastated. Even as an observer, far from the flames, it’s hard not to feel the weight of the tragedy.

In moments like these, theories swirl. Some claim it’s karma, others believe it’s conspiracy. And while it’s human nature to seek answers, to blame, to dissect the “why,” that alone cannot help us cope with the very real human emotions that tragedies ignite. Feelings of loss, helplessness, and fear can creep in, even for those not directly affected, as we imagine the irreplaceable memories lost and the pain of rebuilding from nothing.

For some of us, these emotions take on a deeper layer—triggering wounds from our past. The mother wound, in particular, may resurface in times like this. That primal ache of not feeling safe, of wanting to rescue everyone yet feeling helpless to do so, can pull us back to our childlike instincts. We may find ourselves yearning for someone to come and hold us, reassure us, tell us everything will be okay.

But when we are the adults now, when no one is coming to rescue us, we must turn inward. This is the moment to reparent ourselves.

Reparenting means becoming the loving, gentle parent your inner child needs right now. It’s acknowledging the fear and the helplessness without letting them rule you. It’s providing a steady, calm presence for yourself amidst the chaos. In a world that often feels unpredictable, reparenting is a radical act of grounding, of finding safety within even when safety outside feels tenuous.

Here’s what this might look like in a moment like this:

1. Acknowledge the Chaos Without Succumbing to It

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, to want to numb yourself or absorb the emotions of everyone around you. But the hardest and most powerful thing you can do is remain balanced. You can empathize with those affected while maintaining enough emotional detachment to figure out what you can do. Ask yourself: What is within my control right now? Maybe it’s checking in on loved ones, donating to relief efforts, or simply keeping yourself centered.

2. Be the Parent You Needed as a Child

For many, the mother wound leaves an imprint of instability, hypervigilance, or longing to feel cared for in times of crisis. As a child, you may have lacked the gentle reassurance that you were safe, that someone would guide you through the storm. Now, as an adult, you have the power to provide that care for yourself. Speak to your inner child with kindness: "You are safe right now. I see you. I am here, and we will figure this out together."

3. Practice Presence and Joy

When the world feels heavy, it’s tempting to stay glued to updates, checking and rechecking the spread of the fire or the latest news. While staying informed is wise, don’t let it consume you. Allow yourself moments of joy, no matter how small. Tonight, I’ve been listening to music—a simple act that has kept me grounded and joyous despite the chaos. Joy is not denial; it is resistance against the overwhelm.

4. Reaffirm Safety Through Action

Feeling safe doesn’t always mean being free from danger—it means knowing you have the clarity to act in your best interest. Maybe that means preparing an emergency plan, or simply taking deep breaths to calm your nervous system. Safety begins within, and when we show up for ourselves with patience and clarity, we can navigate even the hardest situations.

5. Be a Refuge for Others

When your own foundation is steady, you can be a source of comfort for those around you. Whether it’s listening to someone who is distraught, offering support, or simply being a calm presence, your ability to stay centered can ripple outward. But remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary.

Bringing Order to Chaos

In times of tragedy, whether global or personal, the mother wound can pull us into old patterns—feeling helpless, longing for safety, or trying to rescue everyone at the cost of ourselves. But healing teaches us a new way: to show up as our own refuge, our own loving parent. It’s not about denying the gravity of what’s happening; it’s about balancing empathy with action, grief with hope, and chaos with internal peace.

The world outside may feel uncontrollable, but the peace within you is yours to nurture. When you reparent yourself with love and patience, you create a space of safety that no fire, no tragedy, no loss can take from you.

So tonight, check on your loved ones, extend a helping hand if you can, and take a moment to breathe deeply. Trust in your ability to care for yourself and show up for others. And always, always remind yourself: You are safe. You are loved. You are enough.

Much love and respect,

Ronnett Shadon